|California Standards for the
Teaching Profession: Standard Six
DEVELOPING AS A PROFESSIONAL EDUCATOR
6.1 Reflecting on teaching practice and planning professional development
6.2 Establishing professional goals and pursuing opportunities to grow professionally
6.3 Working with communities to improve professional practice
6.4 Working with families to improve professional practice
6.5 Working with colleagues to improve professional practice
|This journal excerpt was from an week the was
packed with stresses for me. I wish I could go back now and change some
of how this happened, but instead I will have to settle for not repeating
Thursday, October 25
I passed them off so I could work with my kidwatching kid, and so I could have a minute to catch my breath. What just happened? I thought. I felt different inside, like my statement of being in control was its own prophecy being fulfilled. At the same time, I was really shaken by the events of the day. As soon as my morning was finished, I came home and wrote out as much as I could remember of what happened, and what it all meant and felt to me. In light of what I just realized, what could I do to make right with Mrs. ---? I got out my reading book from Patti’s class, and read every reference to guided reading, affirming to myself that what I had done was as right as I knew how to do. I wrote this down on a sheet of paper, and marked a few pages in the book. I also wrote down a few questions to ask Mrs. --- about what she sees guided reading as being. I will use this to talk with her Monday morning before school, so that today does not repeat itself.
I am beginning to realize that my struggles are not all inside myself. I have been wondering if maybe I was missing something, that I was forgetting to ask something, which I might be. But after what Mrs. --- said to me as I was teaching my reading group, I don’t think it is just me. I think she is frustrated with the class (and probably with me) but doesn’t know how to remedy the problem. What I need to let her know is that ignoring me or treating me like I am an aide is not the solution. I deserve to be shown how to do things that I don’t know how to do, without having perfection expected on the first try. I also have a responsibility to take on for myself that I have been ignoring. I need to be more active in asking questions and getting the help I need when I need it rather than after the problem has grown.